5 Backward Resolutions For 2018

So I kind of gave up making resolutions the January just before I turned 30, with the view that I’d spent enough years lying to myself the whole way through December and then feeling like a failure by the 2nd of January.
This year I thought I’d mix it up and do a reverse resolution list. Instead of deciding on thing I definitely will do this new year, I’m gonna go with some I’m just not gonna do.
Here goes:
1. I won’t be swearing off alcohol.
I’m not much of a drinker these days anyway and even when the mood does take me I know the hangovers aren’t going to be nice, so tend not to drink too much, but I don’t want to be setting limits on myself for 2018. This year has held me back enough to last a lifetime. If I fancy a bloody wine, I’ll have a bloody wine.
2. I won’t be overthinking every little detail of every insignificant thing.
One of the good things to come out of 2017 is the skills I’ve learned to keep ploughing forward. To kick the anxiety in the ass and to really appreciate the little things that matter, not the little things that don’t. Having a new positive attitude has made me see worrying about worrying is what makes the days hard to get through.
3. I won’t be breaking my back to keep people in my life.
Another life lesson for this year, maybe one of the biggest is learning to throw some of these assholes I used to call friends straight into the Fuck it Bucket. By now it’s clear this year has been up there with the worst for me and my beans, and reaching the end of the year without some people still in our lives is something a few months ago really upset me thinking about. Now, I am so thankful that I am armed with the strength to let them go and not waste my precious time trying to keep hold of friendships that had no substance. Because my time is precious. The perception from certain people is that their time is more precious and I do nothing. Well, actually I work my socks off and my time is far too precious to waste.
4. I won’t be putting pressure on myself to do the normal “I must lose weight”, “I must make more money” shit.
I don’t have to do anything other than making sure myself and the humans in this house are happy. Yep, I’d love to be thinner and healthier, who wouldn’t want that? But I refuse to put myself under any stress trying to achieve things. One of the best lessons I’ve learned is that it is far easier to achieve things when you sit back and say,
“I’d like to………….., and I can…………, if and when I want to”
It’s great to have goals and ambition, but it’s not imperative to put demands on our lives.
5. I will not be putting any limits on what I can achieve.
Ok so this one seems a bit like a contradiction of number 4, but there is a huge difference. I won’t be setting myself goals that require me to work my ass off at anything. I clearly don’t work well under my own expectations. However, I don’t want to be starting 2018 with thoughts of “I won’t manage X, Y and Z”, or “I wish I could have/do………..but I’ll never manage that!”
That’s crap, this year I have conquered my biggest fears, I have battled through unbearable pain, I have lost people I valued in our lives and I’ve fought demons from my past I didn’t think I needed to fight. I have started successfully working for myself, despite the shit mental health and the pain. I have got my humans through the year and they are happy and healthy. I made my first Xmas dinner and no one died. I have started to conquer a phobia that is older than my kid's ages combined.
There are so many other things I have achieved this year despite at some points being under rock bottom.
So the only resolution I really need for 2018 is to go and do what I want to, be who I want to, and kick the ass out of life with a smile on my face.
Happy New Year from my tribe to yours.


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