Lucky Enough To Be A mum On Mothers day

This past weekend marked my 16th Mothers Day, 8th as a mum of two. The day came and went fairly quietly with the highlight of my day being the three of us curled up on the sofa watching Harry Potter.
I think its the first Mothers Day I have had where I just didn't really look forward to the day.
With the smallest human being away until dinner time and generally feeling a bit iffy I didn't get up and do the stuff I normally would.
I didn't go and celebrate with my mum, the first time I haven't seen her on Mothering Sunday, instead, I stayed curled in PJs and chilled out with my firstborn.
It wasn't until Monday morning came around that I really appreciated how nice it actual.ly was to not make a huge fuss of the day.
Ok so I did have to put the washing on to make sure the school stuff was done, I did make my own breakfast and the dinner for the three of us, but that's what being a mum is all about.
Some people wish for years to have even one little human to clean up after. To see their little girl look at her dinner plate like you've just asked her to eat raw chicken livers, then leave said plate lying on the floor.
They would give anything to be washing school clothes and planning how much of their week is going to be taken up with the stress of making sure they don't screw their kids up.
For some women, having babies comes easily, they come unexpectedly and because of that, we take it for granted what it is to wish for the days that drive us mental.
I didn't appreciate my day with my kids on Sunday, not all of it anyway.
Late on Sunday evening, I did start to enjoy just the simplicity of being able to lie cuddled into one little human while the other sat at my feet giving them a rub for me, but it wasn't until I woke up on Monday that I realised how privileged I was to have these two in my life.
My last Mothers Day was shared with my Birthday and it was spent in a considerable amount of pain, it was to mark the start of the hardest few months I was to face. Over those months I have heard people try to almost compete with the struggles I've complained about. I've tried myself to outdo the complaints of others, thinking, stop moaning, I have just worked through most of my shit on my own.
It's not until you sit back and look at the things you have, the good that you take for granted every single day that you realize how lucky you are.
Some days it would be lovely for someone to come along and take care of all the shit that I deal with. The school dramas, the money worries and that god-forsaken housework that I am buried in and most likely will never climb out of, but none of it seems quite so bad when I think about the fact 11 months ago I could barely walk, 9 months ago I thought I was going insane. I felt like I would never be able to get in a bath and relax again. Never be able to pick my daughter up from school (my anxiety still hates a school run some days) but I have managed all of those things and for that, I cant be anything other than grateful.
While Mothers Day is usually a day to be thankful for our Mothers, this year, 2018, I will remember it as the year I really learned to embrace being a mum. What it means to have the kids I have and why I need to always appreciate having them.
I will without any doubts be moaning in an hours time about one of them leaving a mess on the floor or not flushing the toilet, but I will now try harder to remind myself more often that I am lucky to have all the mess around me.
I'm lucky enough to be a mum on Mothers Day.
L xx

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