Showing posts from April, 2018

Spectacularly Normal

For anyone reading the ramblings of a 30 something crazy women, they will know that I started writing as a way to document my mental health journey. That journey has led me to today. It has been a pretty spectacular kind of normal day. It was a day when one of my nearest and dearest looked at me and told me how proud she was of me and made my heart melt just a little. This last few months I have worked my arse off to get to a place where I feel like the person I once was. (If I ignore the 3.5 stone of extra chub I now carry that is.) I've always been a nervy person by nature, but until my smallest human was born I was a master at hiding the anxious, nauseating , heart pounding signs I wasn't cool with whatever I was doing. I was outwardly confident, loud and knew how to bat my eyelashes in the right direction. I was the girl who bought matching underwear, donned little skirts and dresses and could walk further than down the stairs to the front door in a pair of heels. But I lost tha…

A Little Dark Week

I've been a complete slacker this week. Haven't written a thing and had no inspiration to do so either so I figured it was time to make a little update on life in general.

Parenting is as always a task.
I read a quote the other day that made me laugh. 

True story folks. True story.
In our house this week we have cried, a lot.  Laughed till there have been actual tears and I have screamed a little bit more than normal.
Truth be told I'm not managing life as well as I could be. I made the decision to go back on some medication and although I know it was the wise move to make, to ensure I don't end up back at the horrible rock bottom place, I still felt a bit disappointed in myself. I hoped that I could go through the rest of my life managing things my way.
The plus side is that I am very aware of my moods these days and I have really been able to monitor things well, which is still a huge step up from this time a year ago.
One of the things that really pushed the decision wa…